I arrived in San Francisco in 2009 to co-found Looksharp, a social impact startup that helped people of all backgrounds find internships and jobs. After 7 years at Looksharp, I had grown tremendously as a founder, leader, and person, but also came to a difficult realization: my passion for impact now lay elsewhere.
Looksharp helped hundreds of thousands of students find their first job out of college. At the same time, as we built our team (which grew to over 25 employees), I couldn’t get away from the notion that what mattered most was not where you worked, but who you worked for.
After we sold Looksharp, I began advising companies and saw firsthand the importance of different leadership styles. At one company, the founders used a command and control style to drive employees out of fear. Turnover was high and people would routinely break down in the office. At another company, the leadership team built a culture of trust where everyone knew they could safely voice their concerns.
During this time something clicked for me: self-aware, and high-EQ leaders enrich people’s lives; unaware, and low-EQ leaders, do the opposite.
My EQ Evolution
The simplest place to explore these lessons is reflecting on my own growth as a leader. In the early days of our startup, I had two strengths: resilience and problem-solving. As our startup faced an onslaught of new challenges (from cold-calling to hiring), I was able to learn new-skill after new-skill to propel our company forward.
As we started hiring, and I began managing a team, I wasn’t always the most tactful leader, but my energy and excitement ensured that everyone on our team grew and had a positive experience.
However, around years 5 and 6 of running Looksharp, the marketing team got bigger and something changed. My role had gone from being entrepreneurial to operational, and my motivation to will myself through new challenges began to wane. I was no longer excited to come to work, I began to fear that I was failing, and because of this, I passed stress on to my team. Without training on how to manage my emotions, I became defensive rather than receptive to feedback—all of which lead to me crashing in my role as CMO.
From my talk on “How to Have Difficult Conversations” at the Founders Network Summit
A Path Forward
Around this time, I was introduced to an executive coach who helped me explore a number of parts of myself that I had been too afraid to look at while my identity was tied to my job.
I realized that while I was a strong digital marketer, my current career didn’t align with my values or desired impact on the world.
I enrolled in a coaching certification program and learned that my strengths as a founder (empathy, curiosity, and candor) were even more effective as a coach. I began reading every book on coaching I could find, as well as supplementing my professional experience with books on neuropsychology, communication, mediation, leadership, and more. I was hooked.
What’s Next
I am now working full-time as an executive coach and am honored to be working with founders in cities ranging from London to San Francisco to Toronto and Atlanta. In addition, recently, I have been giving a talk on “How to Have Difficult Conversations” at a number of startup accelerators, sharing communication techniques I wish I had known as a first-time founder.
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