What’s the difference between a coach and a therapist? And more importantly, should you work with one, the other, or both?
I recently spoke to a fellow coach about the difference and she drew a visual that I found particularly insightful. I wanted to share this with you. The graph went something like this:
The above chart represents an individual’s mental fitness over the first 30 or so years of her life.
This individual does not have clinical depression, but experiences depression, as most of us do.
What does this chart show?
The blue line shows that everyone’s mental fitness fluctuates day to day, week to week, and month to month.
For certain periods, your mental fitness will be above the black midpoint line (in the more joyful/positive zone) and for other periods it will dip into sadness.
As you get older, you will experience more range in mental fitness, with a higher likelihood of high-highs or low-lows.
The chart also reveals how unexpected events can quickly change one’s life and mental fitness as detailed below.
The *’s represent two hypothetical scenarios that reflect common incidents that can cause people to experience lows or depression in their lives.
*The first dip in the chart represents an unexpected event such as a car accident or physical illness that debilitates you. In this situation, the depression is not directly a result of neurosis (although that can factor in); instead, the accident deprives you of key attributes of your livelihood and creates a sadness that is hard to escape.
**The second and deeper dip in the chart, represents another common occurrence, which is a big life change that does not go as planned and feeds on itself. In this situation, the individual takes on a new job and ends up in a toxic work environment. He/She wants to fix the workplace culture, but instead feels unappreciated and insecure. The individual starts to doubt himself/herself, and wonders if the traits he/she used to value (collaboration, authenticity, etc.) are actually weaknesses. The person becomes depressed and uncertain on how to make changes and get out of this situation.
When should I use a coach or a therapist?
First, it is worth noting that there is a large range of coaches out there. This post focuses on professional coaches, not life coaches.
Using this chart as a guide, I suggest that a therapist is most helpful for periods when you are below the red dotted line and experiencing severe depression.
During those times, you have shifted from regular highs and lows into a depressed state, and this negative state can perpetuate itself. Mental patterns, often brought on from early childhood, can cause you to take actions that push you deeper into a hole and make it harder to climb out. In this situation, most people will benefit from an expert who is trained to help you see and navigate these ingrained thought patterns.
A skilled therapist might be helpful in other parts of this graph (to help you better understand yourself and your mental models), but is most critical during those extreme lows.
When above the red dotted line, I believe working with a skilled coach is effective. This is because whether you are feeling positive or negative, you have enough motivation to take new actions, hold yourself accountable, and steer yourself to a better place.
Oftentimes, working with both a coach and a therapist (something that has worked well for a number of clients of mine) is helpful. A coach will help you strive toward your goals and a therapist will help you figure out what mental models are holding you back. Furthermore, a number of coaches are trained in therapy and vice versa, so it is possible to find one person who occasionally can serve both roles (although most will have more training/focus in one area or the other).
This chart is an oversimplification, but I hope it helps you understand the difference between coaches and therapists and when each one can be useful in your life.
You can read more answers to this question in my post on Therapists vs Coaches (Part 1).